Update

In true July 4th fashion and as part of a cherished tradition for people all across America, ESPN treated the nation to live coverage of the hot dog eating contest. Joey Chestnut won eating 54 hot dogs in 10 minutes. Who needs horor films when you have this kind of entertainment to satisfy our fetishes for the truly disgusting to watch? Excuse me now while I take a minute to be sick.

I just finished "Reaper Man" by Terry Pratchett. Some of my favorite passages:

"What is this thing, anyway?" said the DAn, inspecting the implement in his hands. "It's called a shovel," said the Senior Wrangler. "I've seen the gardeners use them. You stick the sharp end in the ground. Then it gets a bit technical."

I should probably explain that many of my favorite passages in his books deal with rather incompetent and rather clueless wizards who work at the Unseen University (a school of magic). Perhaps being taken out of context - and you not having any idea of the context - they man not be as amusing to you as they are to me. But it's my blog, so let's continue.

"You stupid-!" he screamed. The word he uttered was unfamiliar to those wizards who had not had his robust country upbringing and knew nothing of the finer points of animal husbandry.

"The ability of skinny old ladies to carry huge loads is phenomenal. Studies have shown that an ant can carry one hundred times its own weight, but there is no knwn limit to the lifting power of the average tiny eighty-year-old Spanish peasant grandmother."

"Why are you called One-man-bucket?" asked Windle.
"In my tribe we're traditionally named after the first thing the mother sees when she looks out of the teepee after the birth. It's short for One-Man-Pouring-a-Bucket-of-Water-Over-Two-Dogs."
"That's pretty unfortunate."
"It's not too bad," said One-Man-Bucket. "It was my twin brother you had to feel sorry for. Our mother looked out ten seconds before me to give him HIS name."
"Let me guess" said Windle. "Two-Dogs-Fighting?"
"Two-Dogs-Fighting? Tow-Dogs-FIGHTING?" said One-Man-Bucket. "Wow, he'd have given his right arm to be called Two-Dogs-FIGHTING."

It's really too bad that I didn't think to include passages from all of the other Terry Pratchett books I've read.