Shakespeare the Dramatist

I began reading William's Shakespeare's "Julius Caesar" which has an introduction written by the editor wherein the reader is treated to a brief education about William's history and the history of theater in his time and of his plays. Needless to say - or perhaps quite needful as the case may be - the entertainment value of the introduction could only merit a score above "not exactly" by the types of people who, as they say, don't get out much. Oh wait, that's me. Okay, I admit that I found it somewhat interesting despite - or maybe in spite of? - its educational nature. My favorite excerpt:

"Shakespeare the dramatist was not careful about historical details any more than he was concerned about historical anachronisms. If he needed to clock to strike the hour in Rome, he let a clock strike, and nobody bothered to inquire about when striking clocks were invented."

Three Nuns were at a Baseball Game

Three nuns were at a baseball game. Three men were sitting directly behind them. Because their habits were were partially blocking the view, the men decided to badger the nuns hoping that they'd get annoyed enough to move to another area.

In a loud voice the first guy said, "I think I'm going to move to Utah. There are only 100 nuns living there."

The second guy said, "I want to go to Montana. There are only 50 nuns living there."

The guy said, "I want to go to Idaho. There are only 25 nuns living there."

One of the nuns turned around, looked at the men, and in a very sweet and calm voice said, "Why don't you go to hell? There aren't any nuns there!"

Pie Fighter

For some reason I was reminded today about an old computer game on my family's trusty Atari 1040ST involving you controlling a character that ran around on the screen trying to complete some sort of objective while throwing pies at your enemies. The character you controlled may or may not have been a clown, or maybe the clowns were the enemy. Good times. Sister Amy and brother Jared should both remember that game. I want to say the name was "Pie Fighter," but I'm really not sure about that. Whatever happened to the good old games like Lode Runner, Joust, Boulder Dash, Archon, and Jump Man? I miss those days.

I don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it.

If I Were to Make a List . . .

If I were to make a list of things I hope to never see again, inmates dancing to Katie Perry's "California Girls" would be near the top. For those familiar with "Seinfeld", it would be along the lines of Elaine's infamous dance moves, only far, far more disturbing.

Today I started re-memorizing the scripture mastery scriptures. Two down, ninety-eight to go. I saw "Legacy" at institute. I didn't remember the acting being so cheesey, but it was still enjoyable. Hallmark lines such as "if I ever see you again it will be zion to me" still evoked an emotional response despite the melodrama of it all. I guess the Church did a decent job of it all things considered. I'm hoping I'll get to see "Testaments" while I'm here.

And now a thought:

There comes a point in your life when you realize who matters, who never did, who won't anymore, and who always will. So don't worry about people from your past. There's a reason why they didn't make it to your future.

I hope you all make it to my future.

On Tuesday the Pancakes Returned

Tuesday and Thursday have been pancakes for breakfast for as long as anyone here can remember. There is one guy here who has been here for three years, so it's safe to say that if the menu was ever different, it was a long time ago. As I reported previously, last Thursday brought a change in the form of waffles - which were excellent by the way. On Tuesday the pancakes returned to a grouply held breath which became a group sigh. Not a sigh of relief, but rather a sigh of disappointment. But on Thursday's return, our small little lives were once again brightened byt he appearance of our lost waffles. So it seems the new menu will now be pancakes on Tuesdays and waffles on Thursdays. Unfortunately for reasons unknown to us, in an apparent effort to thwart our joy over the waffles, the kitchen switched to a most distasteful syrup with a nasty banana aftertaste. Oh well, so much for hope that things were looking up.

And now another tale full of tantalizing tasty tidbits, albeit temporary ones. On Friday at lunch our typical white bread was replaced by some sort of whole grain wheat bread, complete with the extra grain thingies garnishing the crust. It was really good. It lasted for a couple days, meaning that we kept getting the new bread for several days. We received unverifiable proof via word of mouth from one of the guards that a large truck of the bread had been donated to the jail. So I guess that's why we were blessed.

It just goes to show that you really can have Christmas in July. Rumor has it that another truckload will be donated tomorrow as well.

Update

I recently finished reading "The Truth" by Terry PRatchett. While not as good as some of the others, it was nevertheless an enjoyable satirical insight into the world of journalism. Here are a few tid-bits:

"No, don't move, mister. You stand where I can see you, and no harm will come to you."
"Yes, but if I stand where you can't see me, I don't see how any harm could come to me there, either."

Boddony had pulled his ax out from under the bench. It was a traditional dwarf ax. One side was pickax, for the extraction fo interesting minerals, and the other side was a war ax, because the people who own the land with the valuable minerals in it can be so unreasonable sometimes.

"[...] and in the morning, I'm making waffles!" The kitchen has made another surprising change this week. Instead of having pancakes as scheduled for breakfast we had . . . waffles! They were definitely a step up - and therefore in the right direction - from the pancakes. But alas, the universe seeks balance, and so the following morning, instead of the scheduled oatmeal we were subjected to corn meal. Lucky for me I never eat the oatmeal anyway - preferring to trade it for eggs - so the switch to corn meal leaves me unaffected. Their is an air of apprehension as everyone nervously awaits the schedule to prove whether these were one time changes or something of a more settled nature.

Update

I just finished reading "Princess" by Jean P Sasson, an appalilng indictment of th treatment of women in Saudi Arabia. An informational and eye opening read, this book will upset you. The story is told in first person by an actual princess of the current royal family. To protect herself and her family, the names have been changed. Only her closest sister knows about the existence of the book. If her family or the government found out and traced it to her the punishment would likely be fatal, she says. Despite the difficult subject matter, anyone who wants to catch a glimpse of what life is actually like and the unbelievable human rights violations that are still present in Saudi Arabia will probably find out more than they imagined from this book.

Update

I just took a personality color self test. Turns out I'm predominately white with a helping of blue. I am also lightly seasoned with a little red and yellow. In reading the book's description of the white and blue personalities, I would have to agree with the assessment. The proverbial hammer has hit the proverbial nail on the head. Proverbial is a fun word.

I also embarked on a mission to read the Odessy by Homer; a translation of course as I can't read Greek, at least not with any accuracy. It occurs to me that an accurate command of the language would be highly desirable in such an endeavor. Anyway, I managed to acquire two copies of the Odessy in English each translated by a different author. After comparing the two and reading the introduction from one of them, I realized that I didn't really want to read it all that much after all. I may not have a lot to do, but I'm not that desperate yet.

Update

Congratulation to Spain on winning the 2010 World Cup. In the final game against the Netherlands, they teased their opponent with many near goals during regulation time. The only and winning goal was scored in extra time as if doing so were only a matter finally deciding to do so. To be fair, the Netherlands only having 10 players to Spain's 11 may or may not have had something to do with it. But what do I know about soccer anyway? At least nobody tried to steal the trophy this year. Extra security made certain of that. It's a shame really, I was hoping a new tradition would be established. Now we Americans can conveniently ignore the sport of soccer for the most part for 4 more years.

Brandon Kennedy went home today. Tanner Troubridge went home last week. This reduces the total number of decent people in here by two. The number dwindles without any new recruits to fill the void. I should clarify that. I mean that none of the new residents can be considered one of the sharpest tools in the shed. In fact, many are rather blunt, and a few should have been tossed from the shed to the midden heap. Oh wait, this IS the midden heap. Well that explains a lot.

Update

People suck, except for those of you reading this (bless your hearts). I heard it said somewhere that you can get away with insulting anyone as long as you add "bless your/his/her heart" to the end. Works for me.

Update

In true July 4th fashion and as part of a cherished tradition for people all across America, ESPN treated the nation to live coverage of the hot dog eating contest. Joey Chestnut won eating 54 hot dogs in 10 minutes. Who needs horor films when you have this kind of entertainment to satisfy our fetishes for the truly disgusting to watch? Excuse me now while I take a minute to be sick.

I just finished "Reaper Man" by Terry Pratchett. Some of my favorite passages:

"What is this thing, anyway?" said the DAn, inspecting the implement in his hands. "It's called a shovel," said the Senior Wrangler. "I've seen the gardeners use them. You stick the sharp end in the ground. Then it gets a bit technical."

I should probably explain that many of my favorite passages in his books deal with rather incompetent and rather clueless wizards who work at the Unseen University (a school of magic). Perhaps being taken out of context - and you not having any idea of the context - they man not be as amusing to you as they are to me. But it's my blog, so let's continue.

"You stupid-!" he screamed. The word he uttered was unfamiliar to those wizards who had not had his robust country upbringing and knew nothing of the finer points of animal husbandry.

"The ability of skinny old ladies to carry huge loads is phenomenal. Studies have shown that an ant can carry one hundred times its own weight, but there is no knwn limit to the lifting power of the average tiny eighty-year-old Spanish peasant grandmother."

"Why are you called One-man-bucket?" asked Windle.
"In my tribe we're traditionally named after the first thing the mother sees when she looks out of the teepee after the birth. It's short for One-Man-Pouring-a-Bucket-of-Water-Over-Two-Dogs."
"That's pretty unfortunate."
"It's not too bad," said One-Man-Bucket. "It was my twin brother you had to feel sorry for. Our mother looked out ten seconds before me to give him HIS name."
"Let me guess" said Windle. "Two-Dogs-Fighting?"
"Two-Dogs-Fighting? Tow-Dogs-FIGHTING?" said One-Man-Bucket. "Wow, he'd have given his right arm to be called Two-Dogs-FIGHTING."

It's really too bad that I didn't think to include passages from all of the other Terry Pratchett books I've read.

Update

"Everybody against the wall!" is what I woke up to today. It was time for a shake down which is essentially a more extended search through our stuff for contraband, followed by a more . . . uh . . . probing strip search than the every Tuesday one. I'm happy to report that I checked out okay.

It was a day for memorable events. Following the morning shack down romp, we watched Spain tease Paraguay in a World Cup game right up until the very end when they decided to just go ahead and win, which marks the first time that Spain has made it to the semi finals in forever.

Last night I finished "Son of a Witch, Volume 2 in the Wicked Years"by Gregory Macguire. Previously I had read "Wicked" on which the popular 2003 Broadway musical is based. Not a choice read for the stricly moral, - that goes for "Wicked" as well - but for the rest of you, they present an interesting read and alternative view of the land of Oz and what was really supposedly going on that Dorothy knew nothing about. one of my favorite passages is when Dorothy is explaining to Liic about Santa Clause, but due to some colorful language, I will not include it here. The incurably curious will just have to read it for themselves.

Update

I've heard it said that the best part of waking up is Folgers in your cup. This is a popular misconception. Obviously whoever wrote that jingle has never had the heart racing pleasure of morning contact with a stainless steel toilet in winter. If that doesn't make your pulse rise, you should probably pay a visit to your doctor, or maybe just the morgue to save time.