Like the Children of Israel who journeyed towards their promised land for 40 years in the wilderness -- on account of them forgetting to properly charge their GPS (God Positioning System) -- I too embarked upon my own journey today towards my own promised land. Also like those wanderers of old, my own route has proved to be thus far less than direct. I began the day like any other on which I wished to shave by getting up at 4:30 am. Having completed this successfully and barely retired to bed again I am called to the door and told to "roll up, they'll be here to get you in about 30 minutes." SO I dutifully get all my things together and ready to leave. Like moths to a flame, others gathered to huddle around me. Some were merely well wishers, but others are inevitably vultures, and only there to see what can be scavenged. Luckily for me, I had gotten ready to leave many days previously and had all the stuff was keeping already gathered together in one bag. So all I had to do was open my box, remove the bag, and close the box. I left everything in it to Brett to handle as he saw fit. He wasn't exactly thrilled with that since now he was going to have to deal with the dumpster divers himself.
I was told to roll up at about 5:00 am. 30 minutes came and went. Another 30 minutes came and went, and another, and another,. Two hours later I was still waiting for them to "come get me in 30 minutes." Breakfast came int he meantime, but I chose not to eat it foreseeing the dilemma to come of needing to use the restroom while shackled. This proved to be a wise decision. Shortly after 7:00 am they finally came to get me. Hugs, hand clasps, and parting words were hurriedly exchanged and I was out the door. I actually didn't say anything at the end, being on the brink of losing my composure and breaking down. I was taken to a holding cell in the intake area. There were already six other inmates in there waiting as well. We would end up waiting there for two hours. I forgot to mention that before depositing me in the holding cell, I was given back my street clothes to wear. After 9 months, regular clothes felt sooo good.
Shortly after 9:00 am they came to get us. We were all shackled up and loaded onto a bus. From the jail we then drove down to the federal building where we picked up some more people. For some reason that only the federal government understands, this process took about an hour, just to get five more guys. We then drove out to the airport where we drove right out onto the tarmac. Here we had to sit for another hour for the plane to arrive. Wile we waited the officers took the opportunity to black box some of us. I guess the rule for flights is that every inmate with a sentence over 120 months has to have a black box. What is a black box you might wonder? Well I hope you don't already know from experience. I can assure you that you would regret finding out first hand. If you sit with your hands clasped in your lap, you will see that your wrists make more or less a 90 degree angle with each other, which also means that with cuffs on, the cuffs naturally make a 90 degree angle as well. The black box is a small contraption that fits over the cuffs between the wrists which covers the keyholes and chain. It also forces the cuffs into a straight line. While keeping your wrists about six inches apart and near your waist, try making your wrists parallel to each other. It is extremely uncomfortable for anybody but even more so for the gravitationally challenged. Now keep in mind that I had this contraption on for about 12 hours. Don't worry about forgetting, I'll try to keep reminding you.
We finally boarded the plane after a friendly -- a little too friendly -- pat down search. I don't know what kind of plane it was. It had twin props on wings mounted near the bottom of the chassis. There were I think 20 rows of easts, each row with 3 seats, 1 on one side and 2 on the other. I had a window seat on the 2 seat side, which was good. The flight guards did not carry weapons and would not tell us where we were going. After take off we angled north-ish. After some undetermined amount of time we landed in what turned out to be Great Falls Montana. Some people got off, and some got on. I stayed on. After take off we headed south-ish by my best guess. It was hard to say because the sun was high in the sky and so it wasn't clear which way it was moving. Based on angles and the knowledge that this far north the sun is somewhat to the south anyways I guessed a slightly west of south direction. Knowing we were leaving Montana I was going to upset if we flew back over Utah, which of course we did -- right over the SLC airport!! Great, hours and hours of painful discomfort just for a nice scenic run to Montana and back. At least we didn't land at the SLC airport. That would have been quite upsetting indeed. We ended up landing in Las Vegas, Nevada roughly an hour later after passing over SLC.
In Las Vegas I was kicked off the plane. It felt like I'd just stepped from the fridge into the oven. The heat coming off the tarmac was blistering. Here I was handed off to a new set of guards and loaded onto a bus. Remember that I still have the black box on. By this time the unnatural angle has done some superficial damage where the cuffs have been digging into my wrists. No, they're not padded, or even rounded.
So off we go on the bus which turned out to be a six hour drive to San Bernardino including an hour break for the driver and guards to eat while we sat on the bus. Remember I still have the black box on. We finally arrived at the San Bernardino County Jail. About 30 minutes later I was finally relieved of my torture when the black box was removed. The indentations in my skin from the cuffs lasted for two whole days. The soreness lasted for a couple days longer after that. Intake processing took awhile. After having the cuffs removed (and black box), which was about 9:00 pm, I was put in a holding cell. I still didn't know how long I would be there or where my final destination was.
